Greetings, Stoner Nation! It is I, Carlton Milhouse. Your botanist. This is an abbreviated special 420 eve edition of High Tea. With me. Carlton Milhouse.
Ooooo-Kay…..for starters. There are no doubt those among you who have said to themselves, ” Self, I think Carlton Milhouse has hung it up as a blogger and it concerns me.” Okay, maybe not so much that second part, however I am here to reassure all that I have not. Hung it up as a blogger.
High Tea has been on a hiatus for a variety of reasons. Not the least of these is that as a professional botanist the months of March and April are quite busy. Stated simply in StonerSpeak:
Botanist = Vocation Blogger = Avocation
Another reason for the prolonged absence was that I had to play wheel man for Ford Wenty while he was covering SXSW, which by the way was pretty strange. The man still scares me, but he scares me a lot less when I’m behind the wheel.
Finally, there is the simple fact that as a devoted stoner one is often rather inconsistent in their follow through. Guilty as charged. In any case do look for a resumption of our High Tea feature Sundays at 4:20, though for the season we will only appear bi-weekly.
Well here we are, at 4:20 eve. The night before that most sacred of days. Have you done your duty? Are you all greened up? Are there those near you who are without green this holiday? Do see that you share with those please. The world will surely be a better place for it. If we could just get every person on the planet, all of them get their bake on at the same time, just once! I’m tellin’ ya, if we could make it happen, that would the starting point for everything right there. We could start to really make this shit work right.
Is your house in order? Is your glassware cleaned? Replaced your screens and stocked extra? What about pipe cleaner? And make sure those fireplace lighters are full. You want to have a supply of matches too. If your stoner brother or sister shows with a wood pipe you need matches. All of these things are important. At Thanksgiving you always make sure there are enough plates, cutlery, serving platters, casserole dishes, roasting pans….all of that before you even begin on the menu! Come on! It’s a big day, you make sure you’re prepared. 420 is no different my friends.
In parting, friends, I wish to share a final admonishment. I have been informed of a meme circulating which advises stoners to be sure and “put milk and cookies out for Willie Nelson before bed tonight”. I heard that and I thought “what the fuck?”
Do not insult the man, okay? You leave out beer and Lays chips. He doesn’t care….any fucking Lays chip, okay? Hell you could even put out some shit like Pringles, but NOT milk and cookies. The last time somebody did that I found puke on my front doorstep on the morning of 420. I’m not saying it was actually Willie…..but it seems too much of a coincidence to me.
Make sure your munchie larders are well stocked, have a designated driver if you need one, get your bake on one and all!
HAPPY 420 STONER NATION!!!
we’ll see you back on Sunday 28 April