It is indeed 420. 4/20/2020, to be exact! We’d had hope that this would be a much larger celebration this year. Thirty days of 420 only comes around once! Alas, it is not to be and so we must celebrate together while we’re all apart. Our resident botanist, Carlton Milhouse, has composed some 420 thoughts for us this year. These are after the fashion of T’was the night before Christmas. Carlton hopes you all enjoy it and all of us here at the Ale 81 Inn wish the very happiest of 420s to everyone!
T’was the eve of 420
T’was the eve of 420 and all through the land
Not a head shop was selling, for this act had been banned
The storefronts were shuttered by some governor’s plan
due to some virus; they say it came from Wuhan
The people were chastised and sent to their room
to prevent what was certain imminent doom
Like sheep they all went and meekly obeyed,
away to their homes and there they then stayed
It will be for a month, certainly no more than two,
or until we determine what the hell we’re to do
Now bring on that Fauci and that scarf lady too
We’re led to believe that they might have a clue,
but when one is a hammer then all is a nail
and this is where experts most often fail
For billions of dollars we bought Red China’s shill
We’re all still paying, but I doubt he ever will
With a sickening thud we have screeched to a halt
while media pundits seek to find fault
A banquet for jackals and vultures to dine
They don’t care about shutdowns, they’ll manage just fine
Now Wuhan! Now Corona! Now Covid 19!
Now shut it down! Shut it down! Mass quarantine
When government shuts down it’s the end of the world
Now that it’s our turn? Your true colors are unfurled
The networks persist in their daily charade,
never missing a chance for some point to be made
that has nothing to do with the crisis at hand,
almost as if they had this all planned
And oh! How the spending! Let’s break the bank
so when this is all over we’ll have you to thank
for tiding us over with this little loan
for this time off from work (through no fault of our own)
There are still special favors in the money they’ve spent
Your little tidbit is to buy your consent
The airlines and bankers again are in line
and just like the last time they’ll make out just fine
All that debt will be added to the burden we pay,
but somehow the fat cats will all skate away
Each relief package tied up with a bow
with motives as pure as the wind driven snow
So the stem of this pipe I hold tight in my teeth,
as the smoke encircles my head like a wreath,
because all papers are gone; there are none to be had
Since the head shops are all closed, it’s really quite sad
That last book of Zig-Zags was really quite dear
between rolls of Charmin for wiping my rear
Now we’ll scrimp and we’ll forage for each vital need,
all the while praying we don’t run out of weed
If things grow too desperate it wouldn’t be wrong
to smoke up your bud in a green apple bong
Still despite all of this madness and disarray
Snoop Dogg still came with his magical sleigh
So look in your yard, you may find something there
Because he didn’t make contact, he took special care
But I heard him exclaim, ere he flew out of sight
I’ll see ya’ll next year, ’cause this shit ain’t right!
