The shart heard around the world

A special election 2020 edition of Doom and Reprisal with Ford Wenty

In recent weeks many have referred to Joe Biden’s candidacy as a Trojan Horse. Most of us understand this reference, whether or not we may happen to agree with the accuracy of this comparison. A more apt description might be a straw donkey; a sock puppet; an empty suit. Any or all of these will fit. Call him what you will, the mantle of standard bearer for his party does not rest upon Joe Biden’s slack shoulders. This honor falls upon a man who was never even a presidential candidate in this race. I am, of course, referring to one Jerrold “Jabba” Nadler.

Many of this audience will know to whom I refer, and will likewise arrive at a specific recent incident to know where I am headed with this train of thought. For others who may not hold this advantage, I submit the following:

Too many Olestra cocktails at lunch?

When one is full of shit it is vital to maintain a tight sphincter. This is true not only because it is necessary to stem the release of the latent fecal eruption, but also because the consequent build up of noxious gases must occasionally be vented. Ever driven by a giant landfill? You know, those little posts dotting the mounds with the blue gas flame? Same principle: a controlled release of pressure to prevent the sudden and catastrophic expulsion of the toxic mass.

Some might wish to temper this story with some humanity, to evoke some sympathy for the man and not what he represents. I am not one of those people. This could hardly have happened to an individual more deserving. Jerrold Nadler has about as much place inhabiting a seat in the United States congress as Glen Quagmire from television’s Family Guy has working as an orderly in a comatose care facility for retired strippers. In this instance Nadler has, entirely without any forethought, encapsulated the entire democrat 2020 presidential campaign. They have shit their pants on live television and now attempt to side shuffle from the stage, all the while trying to act like nothing happened. All of their media shills play along and coo into their cameras: you did not just see and hear what you think you just saw and heard. It was something else….oh, and we’re pretty certain the Russians are involved.

The democrat party has been full of shit for decades. Like the aforementioned landfill regularly venting off excess pressure, the party has likewise expelled it’s most noxious content with just enough frequency to maintain the stability of the core. Howard Dean, Bernie, Pocahontas, they all serve as examples and there are countless others at the state and local level. Then, within a space of less than six months, the party experienced three events. Between September 2018 and January 2019 we witnessed the Kavanaugh hearings, the election of AOC +3 (the “squad”), and the re-seating of Mother Superior as Speaker of the House. Any one of these events might have occurred on their own and been absorbed into the political zeitgeist with little memory. Combined these events catalyzed to grow their septic core to critical mass in record time.

Mueller was a bust, so there was no relief there. There was the impeachment debacle and still, no relief. The pressure continued to build. There was the clown show of the democrat primaries, rich as it was with multiple venting ports available, but something went wrong in Iowa. That episode only provided temporary relief and still, the pressure built. Enter the pandemic: a distraction tailor made to permit squeezing off multiple farts with little or no scrutiny.

What they failed to realize is that it was already too late. Just like our pal Jabba Jerry, they waited too long. They relied upon an old, tired, overworked sphincter to hold back too much pressure for too long. They thought that even before the watchful eye of the cameras they would be able to squeeze off that discreet little toot that would allow them to exit the stage with some semblance of dignity intact. This was a tragic miscalculation on their part. We all heard it. We all saw it. No matter how gingerly you extricate yourselves from the camera lens; side shuffle from the stage while your media enablers lay smoke for your strategic withdrawal, that stink follows you. Everywhere you go.

This phenomenon has metastasized. The establishment’s ecosphere has entered the state of sepsis, all of it’s component parts infected. We all watch in wonder as the neocons, the pathetic never Trumpers, the Silicone Valley and Wall Street moguls, the near entirety of print and broadcast media, academia, the intel community, all of them….engaged in one massive, collective fecalnalia. Although they all still parade around, smiling as they congratulate themselves, they know they have been exposed. They can pretend it’s business as usual because for them it is. They no longer care that the flow of filth runs unabated, down their legs, out of their mouths and in extreme cases (think Chris Cuomo or Meet the Press’ Cuck Fraud) out of their ears. They’ve gone all in.

This is not the behavior of a party poised for a sweep into power. This is a party, and by extension an establishment, that looks more like the UK from last fall. The first Brexit vote presaged a Trump win in 2016. It is a safe bet that the utter trouncing that Labour took at the ballot box last December foretells not only a Trump victory in 2020, but a bloodbath for democrat candidates down ballot.

They will tell you with a straight face that Texas is in play. That is a lot of electoral votes in one place. If this were actually true, wouldn’t Joe be campaigning there? Or, if as well may be the case, he is not up to the rigors of this level of campaigning, then surely Kamala would be all over that state. Never mind your side of the spectrum, that is just good old fashioned political savvy. And yet where are they? Ms. Harris shows up in Tucson for a six car rally. Six. In Tucson. They also tell us Arizona is in play.

Meanwhile the President barnstorms Pennsylvania, attracting crowds of 25,000 and more. This is not a campaign clawing from behind. This is a campaign stepping on the gas. There are a surprising number of democrats in those crowds and one other group worth noting. In Pennsylvania, in fact all across the country, Trump rallies are attracting from one quarter to upwards of one third of their audience from people who did not vote in 2016. Rest assured these people are voting this time, and not a one of them for Biden.

These are people who haven’t voted before because they’ve not been offered anything to vote for. A vote for Trump does not equal a vote for the republican party. It is only an affirmative vote for Trump. The fact that this affirmative vote is at the same time a giant fuck you to the establishment is simply a happy accident.

Another solid bellwether for the coming democrat bloodbath has gone ignored. In every election cycle that trends toward republican victory there are a bevy of celebrity emigres. Barbara Streisand, Cher, Madonna…..these are the usual suspects; the charter members of the American expatriate society. Incidentally ladies: we’re all still awaiting your exit from the last time. Now we add John Legend. And Tommy Lee. There are others I am missing, no doubt. It really doesn’t matter who they are. The fact that these banners have been unfurled is a reliable indicator that they are in fact a feeble substitute for the white flag of surrender. Check back in with any one of these people a year from now and I guarantee they’ll still be here.

There is going to be a lot of fraud. There is going to be a lot of turmoil. There is going to be an attempt on election night on the part of the networks to convince the nation that this is all too close to call. They have their harvested ballots and lawyers all at the ready to steal it away. Except that the margins are going to be too large. This won’t stop them from trying. At this point they only have everything to lose. They will fight this battle on as many fronts as they can and drag it out for as long as they can. Because that is all they have left. The weight of victory will be such that they would need to run the entire table on every legal challenge they will throw up to enable fraud. They might win one. Maybe two at the outside. And no more. It simply wont be enough to turn the tide.

In the end, after all of the crying and shouting, the wailing and gnashing of teeth, the 2020 race will end thus:

In the electoral college count Trump 333 Biden 205

The President will win by a substantial margin in PA, MI, WI and MN

I believe that CO will remain blue on no other merit than the popularity of John Hickenlooper

I would not go so far as to predict this as a likely outcome, but would not entirely rule out the possibility that the President also flips the states of IL,VA and NJ. Should these occur I would attribute such an extraordinary outcome to lockdown fatigue being suffered at such an inordinate level by the citizens of these states.

It is likely that Joe Biden may still win in the overall national popular vote, but that margin will be reduced substantially from the 2016 total. Heavy turn out for the President in states that still go blue, and the surge of new voters will cut that margin in half if not more.

Republicans will retake the House, gaining at minimum 20 seats. Republicans will expand their lead in the Senate with a minimum net gain of 2 seats in that body.

Joe Biden has warned us that we are heading for a dark winter. We, as a nation, are not headed for a dark winter. The democrat party is heading for a very dark and very long winter. Election day is only the first snow. They know the long and cruel blizzard that will follow.

One thought on “The shart heard around the world

Comments are closed.