The Rise of the Bootysnatcher

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A report from Ale 81 Inn field correspondent, Ford Wenty

Strange days in Iowa.  Iowa, at least in my experience, has always been a bit odd. Let’s face the facts, unappealing as they may be. Minneapolis-St.Paul can not possibly contain all of the lunatic fringe in the Upper Midwest. Even with Madison, WI the region is still in dire need of an habitat for this endangered breed. What better than the nothingness of their buck-toothed cousin to the south, home of the Harkin democrat.

 

In a statement released late Monday night, an Iowa Democratic Party spokesman said:

“We found inconsistencies in the reporting of three sets of results. In addition to the tech systems being used to tabulate results, we are also using photos of results and a paper trail to validate that all results match and ensure that we have confidence and accuracy in the numbers we report. This is simply a reporting issue, the app did not go down and this is not a hack or an intrusion. The underlying data and paper trail is sound and will simply take time to further report the results.”

 

Well alrighty then! Not a very satisfactory state of affairs. They have only had, what, four years to get ready for this thing? One almost has to feel bad for this spokesperson. Almost. I get it, things are going sideways and all of the sudden you are the guy that they decide to throw to the wolves; to nudge out upon the stage with a story. Because some story has to be told. Even if it isn’t a very good one. It’s your story and come hell or high water, you’re sticking to it.

I would ask that you, the reader, please keep the following in mind as you follow this story. With an accuracy greater than the completion percentage of most NFL quarterbacks, it can be assumed that any official spokesperson of the democrat party is lying. It becomes mostly just a question of degree. It may be a minor obfuscation or omission, a slight shading of the truth; or they may just be flat out lying their ass off. Whichever case may apply in this instance we do not yet know for certain, but rest assured this story will change in the days ahead.

There has been some talk about a defective app, a specially designed political tabulation app produced by? Democrats! Some of Hillary’s people involved somehow and, directly or indirectly, Mayor Buttplug is an investor in this group? And Biden? Maybe, maybe not, and what does any of it mean? It’s quite possible all of this is just so much noise. After a couple of days the chatter and the dust will settle and we’ll be worried about New Hampshire. Or maybe there is more “there” there. Until all of the details get rooted out, corroborated or refuted, we can only rely upon this time honored question to point us to the truth: qui bene?

I wonder…. they were awful quick to include mention of (by denying any occurred) the prospect of a breach or hack. Just like during the democratic convention in 2016, when they just happened to have that fellow from Crowdstrike at hand to explain that DNC hack. Remember? I sure do. Do your own homework kids. There is plenty of video.

So what could really have been going on? Well, I wonder if it had anything to do with this, from Judicial Watch:

 

(Washington, DC) – Judicial Watch announced that eight Iowa counties have more voter registrations than their eligible voting-age population. According to Judicial Watch’s analysis of data released by the U.S. Election Assistance Commission (EAC) in 2019 and the most recent U.S. Census Bureau’s five-year American Community Survey, eight Iowa counties are on the list of 378 counties nationwide that have more voter registrations than citizens living there who are old enough to vote, i.e., counties where registration rates exceed 100%. These 378 counties combined had about 2.5 million registrations over the 100%-registered mark. In Iowa, there are at least 18,658 “extra names” on the voting rolls in the eight counties at issue.

The chart below details the eight Iowa counties’ registration rate percentages:

Reg Rate Total Population
Dallas County 114.8 80,864
Johnson County 107.9 144,425
Lyon County 102.5 11,745
Madison County 102.5 15,720
Poweshiek County 102.1 18,428
Dickinson County 100.9 17,000
Scott County 100.8 171,493
Warren County 100.5 48,630

In addition to the eight listed above, Polk County, Iowa’s largest, has an unusually high registration rate of 95.9% of total eligible citizen voting-age population.

 

What might the one have to do with the other? Qui Bene? Let’s say that you’ve somehow managed to “bank” an extra 20,000 ballots. In a tight race 20,000 ballots can make the difference. Especially in a widely divided field. In order to make that plan go smoothly the beneficiary would need to be in on the game. So which of this field would the DNC most like to win the race. Qui Bene? If you think the answer is Joe Biden you would be sorely mistaken. Bernie? Liz? Meh! Not so much. Surely not Mayor Buttplug!? Again, no.

Who is conspicuously absent from this field? Michael Bloomberg. Qui Bene? Doubt me? Look at the spin that the network shills at the Ministries of Propaganda will paint upon this canvas in the week leading up to the New Hampshire primary and then tell me I’m wrong.

This level of incompetence is not a naturally occurring event, even for democrat activists. This is the kind of stupid that does not occur without some planning. This is a smoke screen, or perhaps better stated, a woke screen. Breath there any among us who believe that the Iowa Democrat Party operates as a fully autonomous entity? Or do they take their marching orders from the national committee, the DNC? Just ask the Bernie supporters. They know the truth of this by their own experience.

Bloomberg is the DNC choice. He adheres to a maxim long respected among the democrat donor class: that you win elections the old fashioned way. You buy them. Since Mini Mike was too late to the dance he could not risk a poor showing in Iowa. So? Don’t show at all and be insulated from it.  I suspect that the truth that democrat operatives in the state of Iowa have known for some time, is that Bernie Sanders was trending to be the clear winner from the field. The DNC is not going to have any of that. There is too much real money at stake.

Not finding enough “blank ballots” in their bank to effectively blunt Sanders’ performance, the subsequent fiasco is designed to delay, obfuscate and de-legitimize the entire caucus. As they begin to shape their narrative it will be molded to show a strong performance from Sanders, but not a clear win. Hence we see the emerging numbers to indicate that Mayor Buttplug is on top with Bernie running a close second. That is with 60 some percent of the votes counted. A la Rick Santorum in 2012, some weeks later after New Hampshire has already been decided, the revised count will show what they can no longer hide: Bernie came out on top.

The DNC got away with this in 2016 and apparently think they can do it again, but they must be concerned. Otherwise, why bestow the legitimacy upon Buttplug? Could it be that they are aware that they risk completely alienating the Bernie wing of their party? They have fronted themselves with blacks, women, and they have tried with Hispanics and even those only suspected of being Hispanics; yet all to no avail. They’ve not yet tried serving up the gay slice of the woke pie. Until now. We just got our first serving.

Mayor Buttplug is sufficiently woke to balance the smart money Bloomberg ticket. He is being groomed for a VP berth on the Bloomberg train, an insurance to carry enough of the woke wing of the party across the finish line. So…where does it go from here?

Joe Biden is still hanging out at the Y in Cedar Rapids, scaring Middle School kids with his leg hair. Senator Warren is scheduling another appointment with the John Kerry speech coach to learn how to properly ask, when in flyover country, ” Can I get me a _____”. Beer, huntin’ license, pair o’ bowlin’ shoes……insert the credulous rube meme of your choice here. Bernie is off to beg for more cash wherever he can find it and Mayor Buttplug?

He was last seen driving east on I-80 with a trunkload of Bloomberg campaign cash. He and his sweetie will stop for a quickie at the Motel 6 on 933 North in South Bend. They’ll share a cheap bottle of gas station Spumante and some Snickers bars before riding down to an empty lot on Sample Street, where they will bury the trunk full of dirty money for a rainy day. Then it’s on to New Hampshire, where no doubt they will be feted and ceaselessly fawned over by a suddenly adoring media. The DNC is betting that they can make this Bernie’s last stand. I would bet that they are wrong. These are a people so tone deaf they can not even recognize the roar of the monster they themselves created.

 

Wait… what? Vol. 49

The official results of the Iowa democrat party caucuses are in!

 

Nothing to see here folks! Go on home, the excitement is already over. The Russians aren’t involved. Now it’s the Mongolians. Nothing to fear. The children at the DNC have got a handle on it. Everyone gets a trophy, so we all win! Yay!